Negotiation Boot Camp

WEEK ONE Is There a Negotiator in Your Closet? "The fault, dear Brutus, is not in our stars, but in ourselves." --SHAKESPEARE, "JULIUS CAESAR" Conflict seems to be part of the human condition. Regardless of what the issue is, we will find a way to fight over it. In spite of this tendency, human beings have always tried to get along. What is the greatest invention in history: Fire? The wheel? E = mc2? In my view, it is the art of negotiation. Negotiation is about getting along. Let me give you my definition of negotiation: Negotiation is the process of overcoming obstacles in order to reach agreement. What is the primary obstacle? The difference between your position and my position. Human beings invented negotiation to stop ourselves from physically harming each other (or worse) when our respective positions appear to be incompatible. The history of conflict resolution from the last ice age to the present suggests that without the art of negotiation, the human population would be significantly smaller. The objective of negotiating is to reach agreement. So in one sense, a successful negotiation is one that culminates in agreement. There are times, however, as we will see, when the lack of agreement--an "impasse" or "deadlock"--can signal a successful outcome; that is, "if" we determine that, in this particular instance, an agreement is not in our best interest. All things considered, I prefer to think of a successful negotiation as one in which at least one of the parties is satisfied with the outcome. "Satisfaction" is the key element in every successful negotiation. In a traditional adversarial negotiation, such as the sale of a house, the negotiation issuccessful if "you" are satisfied. In a cooperative (win-win) negotiation, success occurs when "both parties" are satisfied. One point of clarification here. "Satisfaction" means that you get what you need, not necessarily what you want. What you "need" and what you "wan"t are not always the same thing. You need a car to get to work. You want a Lexus or a Mercedes, but your budget won't stretch that far. A Honda will do the job. So your need is met and you can be satisfied with a Honda. There is also an important difference between your "need" and your stated "position," Your need is what you must get in order to solve a problem. Your position, on the other hand, is what you "say you want," Occasionally, a negotiator may put forth a position that asks for more than she truly needs. Satisfaction occurs when the need is met, not when a position is satisfied. In a negotiation, instead of being sidetracked by positions, it is essential to focus on the other negotiator's needs. PROFILE OF A NEGOTIATOR Below are the ten traits I've found that successful negotiators tend to have. "How many of them do you share?" "1. Negotiation Consciousness" We've all heard the phrase "Everything is negotiable." In the world of negotiation, my world,