The Etiquette Edge : The Unspoken Rules for Business Success

Acknowledgments xiii Introduction: The Case for Courtesy 1(1) The Value of Courtesy to Your Career 1(1) Who Can Use This Book? 2(1) How to Get the Most from This Book 3(1) Test Your Courtesy Quotient (CQ) 3(6) PART 1: Everyday Courtesy as a Credibility Builder 9(52) Twenty-First Century Manners: Can Courtesy Survive in the Brave New World? 11(6) The High Cost of Incivility 12(1) Taking Personal Responsibility 13(2) What's In It for You? 15(1) The Constantly Changing Rules 15(1) The Bottom Line 16(1) Action Plan 16(1) Credibility: Creating It and Keeping It 17(4) Mastering the Art of Straight Talk 18(2) The Bottom Line 20(1) Action Plan 20(1) Develop Your Gratitude Attitude: Say ``Thank You'' and Mean It 21(4) When in Doubt 21(3) The Bottom Line 24(1) Action Plan 24(1) I See What You're Saying: Are Your Unspoken Messages Telling on You? 25(8) What Exactly Is Nonverbal Communication? 25(2) The Power of Nonverbal Communication 27(1) Interpreting Nonverbal Communication 27(2) Courtesy Is as Courtesy Does 29(1) Synchronize Your Body Language 30(1) Common Body Language and Its Meaning 30(2) The Bottom Line 32(1) Action Plan 32(1) What the $%#*!& Is Going On Here? Should We Put a Leash on Our Language? 33(4) Obscenity Goes Mainstream 33(1) The Professional Cost of Cursing 34(1) Is Vulgarity a First Amendment Right? 34(2) The Bottom Line 36(1) Action Plan 36(1) Tell Me Less: Some Things Are Better Left Unsaid 37(6) Rebuilding the Barriers at Work 37(1) Balancing Openness and Privacy 38(3) When You Are the Recipient of Unwanted Information 41(1) What You Don't Say Tells a Lot 41(1) The Bottom Line 41(1) Action Plan 42(1) Praiseworthy Praise: Giving Compliments that Count 43(5) The Power of Praise 43(1) Giving Praise 43(3) Praise as Feedback 46(1) Accepting Praise 46(1) The Bottom Line 46(1) Action Plan 47(1) What Did You Say? Developing Your Ability to Listen 48(4) Listen for Success 49(1) The Bottom Line 50(1) Action Plan 51(1) Convenience or Curse? Is It Time for a Cell Phone Reality Check? 52(3) Keep the Technology in Perspective 53(1) The Bottom Line 54(1) Action Plan 54(1) Travel Courtesy: Don't Leave Home Without It 55(6) Keeping the Skies Friendly 55(2) Once You Land: Courtesy at Home or Abroad 57(2) The Bottom Line 59(1) Action Plan 60(1) PART 2: Best Behaviors at Work: Interacting with Bosses and Peers 61(82) Terror on Both Sides of the Desk: Relieving Interview Stress 63(9) Guidelines for the Interviewee 63(4) Guidelines for the Interviewer 67(3) On Either Side of the Desk 70(1) The Bottom Line 71(1) Action Plan 71(1) The New Job: Getting Started on the Right Foot 72(5) Plan for Success in a New Position 72(3) The Bottom Line 75(1) Action Plan 76(1) Office Space: Make Working Together More Enjoyable and Productive 77(6) Be a Considerate Colleague 77(4) A Team Approach to a Harmonious Workplace 81(1) The Bottom Line 82(1) Action Plan 82(1) E-Mail: Think Before You Send 83(7) E-Mail Can Be Tricky Business 83(6) Leverage the Advantages of E-Mail 89(1) The Bottom Line 89(1) Action Plan 89(1) Using the Telephone Productively: Conversations, Teleconferencing, and Voice Mail Messaging 90(7) Telephone Basics 90(5) Look for Ways to Make the Medium Work for You and Others 95(1) The Bottom Line 95(1) Action Plan 96(1) Are We Having a Casual Crisis? Coping with Dress Code Confusion 97(5) The Packaging Matters 98(3) The Bottom Line 101(1) Action Plan 101(1) Getting Along with Your Manager: Spotting and Solving Personality Problems 102(6) Before You Take the Job 102(3) Once You're on Board 105(2) The Bottom Line 107(1) Action Plan 107(1) Loving Your Enemies: Coping with the Price of Success 108(4) Managing the Price of Success 109(1) The Bottom Line 110(1) Action Plan 111(1) When Your Best Friend Becomes Your Boss: Balancing the Professional and the Personal 112(5) Reinventing the Rules of Friendship 112(4) The Bottom Line 116(1) Action Plan 116(1) How to Leave a Job: Making a Graceful Exit 117(5) Leaving Gracefully 117(4) The Last Impression 121(1) The Bottom Line 121(1) Action Plan 121(1) Refuse to Schmooze and You Lose: Cultivating the Social Side of Business 122(5) Be Professional, Not Antisocial 122(3) Schmoozing: More than Just Parties 125(1) It's All About Relationships 125(1) The Bottom Line 125(1) Action Plan 126(1) Let's Do Lunch: Dining Your Way to Success 127(5) When You Are the Host 128(2) If You Are the Guest 130(1) When All Is Said and Done 130(1) The Bottom Line 131(1) Action Plan 131(1) Standing Out in the Crowd: Getting Noticed Without Becoming Notorious 132(5) Take a Proactive Approach 132(2) Make Yourself a Star at Work 134(1) The Bottom Line 135(1) Action Plan 136(1) He Said, She Said: When the Gender Gap Seems as Wide as the Grand Canyon 137(6) Men and Women Really Are Different 137(1) Bridging the Gender Divide 138(3) The Bottom Line 141(1) Action Plan 142(1) PART 3: Handling Sensitive Issues: Courtesy and Building Trust 143(36) When Silence Is Not a Virtue: Complaining Without Carping 145(5) Complain with a Purpose 145(3) Be Generous with Compliments 148(1) The Bottom Line 149(1) Action Plan 149(1) When an Apology Is in Order: Saying ``I'm Sorry'' 150(4) The Rewards of Apologizing 150(1) How to Make a Meaningful Apology 150(2) Accepting an Apology Gracefully 152(1) The Bottom Line 153(1) Action Plan 153(1) Tell It Like It Is: Delivering Unwelcome Information Without Doing Permanent Damage 154(6) Take Time to Plan 154(5) A Final Thought 159(1) The Bottom Line 159(1) Action Plan 159(1) Confronting with Courtesy: Preserving Relationships While Resolving Differences 160(7) Levels and Sources of Conflict 160(1) Avoiding the High Cost of Unresolved Conflict 161(4) The Bottom Line 165(1) Action Plan 166(1) When the Worst Happens: Dealing with Tragedy and Death 167(6) The Do's of Dealing with Another's Grief 168(1) The Don'ts of Relating to a Person's Grief 169(2) The Most Valuable Response 171(1) The Bottom Line 171(1) Action Plan 172(1) Citizenship in the Global Village 173(6) Avoid Cross-Cultural Communication Pitfalls 173(4) Be a Constant Learner 177(1) The Bottom Line 177(1) Action Plan 178(1) A Final Word 179(2) Bibliography 181(6) Index 187