Till Eulenspiegel : His Adventures

Introduction xxi Bibliography lxxxv Foreword 3(1) How Till Eulenspiegel was born, how he was baptized three times in one day, and who his godparents were 4(1) How all the farmers and their wives complained about young Eulenspiegel, saying he was a rogue and scoundrel; and how he rode behind his father on a horse, quietly letting the people behind him see his arse 5(2) How Claus Eulenspiegel moved away from Kneitlingen to the Saale, the river, where his mother was born, where he died; and how his son Till learned to walk the tightrope 7(1) How Eulenspiegel relieved the boys of 200 pairs of shoes, over which they fought, making young and old tear their hair over them 8(2) How Eulenspiegel's mother tried to convince him to learn a trade-with which she meant to help him 10(1) How Eulenspiegel cheated a baker out of a sack of bread at Stassfurt, in the city, and brought it home to his mother 11(1) How Eulenspiegel ate the breakfast bread, or rolls, with other boys, and how he was made to overeat, and was beaten into doing so 12(2) How Eulenspiegel made the stingy householder's chickens play tug-of war over bait 14(1) How Eulenspiegel crawled into a beehive; how two men came by night, intending to steal it; and how he made them tear each other's hair and let the beehive drop 15(2) How Eulenspiegel became a page-boy; and how his squire taught him that whenever he found the plant hemp, he should shit on it; so he shitted on mustard, thinking hemp and mustard were the same thing 17(2) How Eulenspiegel hired himself out to a priest; and how he ate his roast chickens off the spit 19(3) How Eulenspiegel became the sexton in the village of Buddenstedt; and how the priest shitted in his church and Eulenspiegel won a barrel of beer 22(1) How Eulenspiegel played a trick during Easter matins that led the priest and his maid to tear the hair of their farmers and go to war with them 23(2) How Eulenspiegel announced that he planned to fly off the roof at Magdeburg, and dismissed his audience with scathing language 25(1) How Eulenspiegel pretended to be a doctor, and doctored the doctor of the Bishop of Magdeburg, who was deceived by him 26(4) How Eulenspiegel made a sick child shit at Peine and was highly praised 30(2) How Eulenspiegel got all the patients at the hospital healthy in one day, without medicine 32(2) How Eulenspiegel purchased bread according to the proverb ``One gives bread to him who has it.'' 34(1) How Eulenspiegel apprenticed himself as a baker's boy to a baker-and how he baked owls and long-tailed monkeys 35(2) How Eulenspiegel sifted flour by moonlight into the courtyard 37(2) How Eulenspiegel always rode on a reddish-gray horse, and was miserable around children 39(1) How Eulenspiegel hired himself out as a tower bugler to the Count of Anhalt; and how, when enemies showed up, he failed to sound his horn; and how, when there were no enemies, he sounded it 40(3) How Eulenspiegel had his horse shod with gold shoes, for which the King of Denmark had to pay 43(2) How Eulenspiegel, with a superior trick, humiliated the King of Poland's jester 45(2) How Eulenspiegel was banished from the Duchy of Luneburg, and how he cut open his horse and stood in it 47(1) How Eulenspiegel bought some land from a farmer in the province of Luneburg, and sat in it, in a tumbrel 48(2) How Eulenspiegel painted for the Landgrave of Hesse, doing it in white, so whoever was illegitimate could not see it 50(4) How Eulenspiegel debated with the students at the University of Prague, in Bohemia, and emerged victorious 54(2) How Eulenspiegel, at Erfurt, taught an ass to read from an old psalter 56(3) How Eulenspiegel, at Sangerhausen, in the province of Thuringen, washed pelts for the ladies 59(2) How Eulenspiegel wandered around with a death's-head, amazing people with it, and made quite a profit from doing so 61(2) How Eulenspiegel led the city patrol of Nuremberg into following him over a narrow bridge and falling into the water 63(2) How Eulenspiegel ate for money at Bamberg 65(2) How Eulenspiegel traveled to Rome and visited the pope, who took him for a heretic 67(2) How Eulenspiegel cheated the Jews at Frankfurt-on-the-Main out of a thousand guilders, by selling them his excrement as prophet's berries 69(3) How Eulenspiegel bought chickens at Quedlinburg, and left the farmer's wife one of her own chickens as a pledge for the money 72(1) How the priest of Hoheneggelsen ate one of Eulenspiegel's sausages-something which subsequently did not make him happy 73(3) How Eulenspiegel, with a false confession, talked the priest of Kissenbruck out of his horse 76(4) How Eulenspiegel hired himself out to a blacksmith, and how he carried the blacksmith's bellows into his courtyard for him 80(2) How Eulenspiegel forged a blacksmith's hammer, tongs, and other tools together 82(3) How Eulenspiegel told something true to a blacksmith, his wife, his assistant, and his servant girl in front of his house 85(2) How Eulenspiegel worked for a shoemaker, and how Eulenspiegel asked him what shapes he should cut. His boss said, ``Large and small, like those the swineherd runs past the gate:' So Eulenspiegel cut out oxen, cattle, calves, rams, and the like, and ruined the leather 87(3) How Eulenspiegel sprinkled a soup for a farmer, putting filthy-smelling fish oil on it instead of bread and drippings, and thought that was good enough for the farmer 90(1) How a bootmaker in Brunswick larded Eulenspiegel's boots, and how Eulenspiegel knocked the windows out of his room 91(3) How Eulenspiegel sold a shoemaker of Wismar frozen filth for tallow 94(1) How Eulenspiegel became a brewer's assistant at Einbeck, and how he boiled a dog called Hops, instead of hops 95(3) How Eulenspiegel hired himself out to a tailor and sewed under a tub 98(2) How Eulenspiegel made three tailor's boys fall off a bench-and told people the wind had blown them off it 100(2) How Eulenspiegel called all the tailors of Saxony together to teach them a skill that would help them and their children 102(2) How Eulenspiegel beat wool on a holy day, because the clothier had forbidden his having Monday off 104(3) How Eulenspiegel hired himself out to a furrier and shitted in his workroom for him, because one stink is supposed to drive out another 107(2) How Eulenspiegel slept among pelts for a furrier-dry and damp, as the furrier told him to 109(1) How Eulenspiegel, in Berlin, made wolves for a furrier, instead of ``wolf pelts.'' 110(2) How Eulenspiegel, in Leipzig, sold the furriers a live cat sewn into a rabbit skin, in a sack, for a live rabbit 112(2) How Eulenspiegel boiled leather-along with chairs and benches-for a tanner in Brunswick on the Damme 114(2) How Eulenspiegel cheated the wine-tapster at Lubeck, by giving him a jug of water instead of a jug of wine 116(1) How people tried to hang Eulenspiegel at Lubeck; and how, with clever trickery, he got out of there 117(3) How Eulenspiegel had a giant purse made at Helmstadt 120(1) How Eulenspiegel cheated a butcher of Erfurt out of a roast 121(2) How Eulenspiegel cheated a butcher of Erfurt out of another roast 123(1) How Eulenspiegel became a carpenter's boy in Dresden, and failed to win much praise 124(2) How Eulenspiegel became an optician, and found no demand for his services in any country 126(2) How Eulenspiegel hired himself out as a cook and houseboy to a merchant in Hildesheim, and behaved quite mischievously 128(5) How Eulenspiegel became a horse-dealer in Paris, and removed the tail from a Frenchman's horse 133(1) How Eulenspiegel played a huge joke on a pipemaker at Luneburg 134(3) How Eulenspiegel was tricked by an old farmer's wife and lost his purse 137(3) How Eulenspiegel tricked a farmer at Ueltzen out of some green fabric from London by making him believe it was blue 140(2) How Eulenspiegel shitted in the baths at Hanover, believing that the place was a House of Cleansing 142(2) How Eulenspiegel bought milk from the country-women in Bremen, and mixed it all together 144(2) How Eulenspiegel gave twelve blind men twelve guilders-how they took them, how they spent them, and how in the end they lived miserably because of them 146(4) How Eulenspiegel, in Bremen, basted his roast from his behind, so nobody wanted to eat it 150(1) How Eulenspiegel sowed stones in a city in Saxony; and how, when he was asked about it, he said he was sowing rogues 151(2) How Eulenspiegel hired himself out to a barber in Hamburg, and entered his shop through his windows 153(2) How a woman who had snot hanging out of her nose invited Eulenspiegel for a meal 155(1) How Eulenspiegel ate the white jam by himself, by letting a lump fall into it, out of his nose 156(2) How Eulenspiegel shitted inside a house and blew the stink through a wall to a host who disliked him 158(2) How Eulenspiegel, at Eisleben, frightened an innkeeper with a wolf he had promised to catch 160(4) How Eulenspiegel shitted on an innkeeper's table in Cologne, telling him he would come and find it 164(1) How Eulenspiegel paid the innkeeper with the sound of his money 165(2) How Eulenspiegel took his leave of Rostock 167(1) How Eulenspiegel killed a dog, paying an innkeeper with its skin, because the dog had eaten with him 168(3) How Eulenspiegel convinced the same innkeeper that Eulenspiegel was lying on the wheel 171(1) How Eulenspiegel seated a lady-innkeeper in hot ashes on her bare arse 172(1) How Eulenspiegel shitted in his bed and convinced his innkeeper that a priest had done it 173(2) How a Dutchman ate Eulenspiegel's baked apple, into which he had put saffron, off his plate 175(1) How Eulenspicgel made a woman break all her pots at the market in Bremen 176(2) How a farmer taking plums to the market in Einbeck gave Euleaspiegel a ride in his cart, and how Eulenspiegel shitted on them 178(2) How Eulenspiegel counted the monks into vespers at Marienthal 180(2) How Eulenspiegel fell ill at Molln, how he shitted in the pharmacist's medical book, how he was brought to ``The Holy Ghost,'' and how he said a sweet word to his mother 182(1) How Eulenspiegel was told to repent of his sins-so he repented of three sorts of tricks he had not played 183(2) How Eulenspiegel prepared his legacy-in which the priest covered his hands with shit 185(1) How Eulenspiegel divided his possessions into three parts-one for his friends, one for the Council of Molln, and one for the priest there 186(2) How Eulenspiegel died and how pigs knocked over his bier during the vigils, so he took a tumble 188(1) How Eulenspiegel was buried, as he was to be buried not by religious or lay people but by beguines 189(2) How Eulenspiegel's epitaph and inscription were carved over his grave at Luneburg 191(2) Notes on the Tales 193